I Wrote an Email to My Future Self

It was a Powerful Experience

Steven Gambardella
4 min readMar 4, 2021
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

What do you write to yourself in ten years?

I was suddenly choked. Blood rushed to my fingers. My hands felt heavy over the keys. What to type?

It’s difficult to convey how powerful the experience was. I write emails every day — dozens in a work day. But not all emails are created equally.

I had recently stumbled on a new feature on Gmail that you can schedule emails. I’m a frequent self-emailer. My inbox is always open, and it’s easy to send yourself files and reminders that you can pick up elsewhere. This time, “elsewhere” was an unknown place in ten years’ time.

I thought it would be an interesting idea. I’ll drop myself a note that I’ll pick up in exactly ten years. But what started out as a fun idea stirred up the deeper, darker depths of the cauldron of memories and feelings inside me. These unsettled depths have swirled around inside me for days since. With my fingers poised, it suddenly dawned on me that I may not even be alive to read the message.

I’m having a child in less than a month’s time. My partner is 38 weeks pregnant. Our lockdown together has been a daily reminder of the miracle of life. Life kicking from within. It didn’t seem real until the rainy day we sat in a clinic for a scan. My…